I generally have a fairly vague recollection of dreams when I wake up in the morning, assuming I remember them at all. But last night was a weird one – I came about as close as I ever get to having a nightmare; and then I had a bizzare dream about someone I haven’t spoken to in months.
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Well, I’m back in England for a little while. Darkly, my best friend & housemate, was kind enough to collect me from the airport, and it was very nice to see her again. We’ve had a few talks since I got back, which we seem to need to do every now and again because of our not-quite-just-friends relationship. But it’s all good.
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So.. longtime readers of this blog may remember me mentioning Lazy. For those of you who don’t: When I was travelling through Amsterdam, I met an american girl. We exchanged emails and stayed in touch over IM. Some months later, she came to visit me for a week. We slept together. It was her first time.
Not long after her visit, I moved homes and circumstances changed a lot, and I was online a lot less often, which meant I spent much less time talking to her. She was upset by this, and our conversations started to deteriorate. To put it mildly.
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This morning, a few things bothered me a little.
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‘A Ring of Power looks after itself, Frodo. It may slip off treacherously, but its keeper never abandons it. At most he plays with the idea of handing it on to someone else’s care – and that only at an early stage, when it first begins to grip. But as far as I know, Bilbo alone in history has ever gone beyond playing, and really done it. He needed all my help, too. And even so, he would never have just forsaken it, or cast it aside.’
‘There wasn’t any permanent harm done, was there?’ asked Frodo anxiously. ‘He would get all right in time, wouldn’t he? Be able to rest in peace, I mean?’
‘He felt better at once,’ said Gandalf. ‘Of course, it might take a long while for the influence to wear off – before it was safe for him to see it again, for instance.’
The few regular readers I have may possibly notice that the place looks suddenly unpopulated. The reason for this is simple: I took down all the posts I made up until now.
Why?
Well, really, everything that was in the older entries only really concerned two people. One (allegedly) doesn’t read this blog any more, and as for me.. I never look at the old posts. They were either written when I was going through Hell, in which case I don’t want to be reminded of it; or they remind me of a time when I had a lot more to be happy about, which is painful in its own special way.
So screw it, I’ve set all those posts to “Private” – I hate deleting things completely – and I’m starting from scratch.
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